I do not judge the universe

“A friend is, as it were, a second self” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

The dinner table conversations have gone particularly skewed since my (temporary) move home. It may be that we like wine, it may be that I’m now much older… but gone are the “how has your week been?” chats, replaced by utter randomness.

I never thought I’d be discussing with my dad how inappropriate it is to hook up with a friends ex. To which a debate ensued because my dad is completely bewildered by the matter, does not understand the concept of why one would be angry if you started relations with someone they have already been with. “Who cares? You all date each other anyways!” was his response. So I took another angle – and asked how dad would feel if mum started a relationship with his best friend, his response was “she wouldn’t, because she is married to me”… and I guess after 40 years together, that is the basis of his understanding. He doesn’t understand the concept because in his world, it just wouldn’t happen.

So in modern living where we are fussy and drop our significant others for little more than a latte, what does happen if you fall in love with a friends ex? Does it happen? I assume it does? Is it wrong? Do you still “go there”?

I know that I would spit tacks, breath fire, send laser beams from my eyes directly into their small inconsiderate hearts if any of my friends dated an ex of mine (and there have been a couple)…

BUT then again… Who am I to stop their happiness? You are ex’s because it wasn’t meant to be, two people who worked smashingly for a spell, and then for varying reasons, you didn’t work anymore. So why step in and try to break those smashingly beautiful moments happening for your friend?

You know what? EFF IT. I’m a female, I’m allowed to change my mind without notice. In 4 paragraphs I managed to debate against myself…

Mel the internal debater

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months ~~ Oscar Wilde

I’ve somewhat come to terms with the fact that tights can now pass as pants as long as the thickness is more than that of sheer stockings, it took me a year

Now before I bust out the “in my day” line, which I am so very very close to doing, can I just ask the young girls out there – those high wasted shorts you wear, you know, the ones that sit above your belly button and sometimes have your butt cheeks hanging out at the bottom? yeah  those. Well they make your hips look ginormous – even you bulimics out there, YOU TOO! How much more do you have to spew now that your clothes emphasise a body part that we as a female collective have spent generations trying to trim?!

And boys of the tight jeans following, read carefully, take notes.

• Lesson 1 – Young men (majority of skinny jean wearers) have skinny chicken legs, skinny jeans make this fact more prominent – girls like muscle. Skinny does not equal muscle. Skinny equals boney and yuck.

• Lesson 2 – Skinny jeans sag at your ass, because boys don’t have butts. Ass sagging + tight legs + denim = vomit
• Lesson 3 –  And possibly the most vital – Skinny jeans make your *cough* look miniscule – HOW DO YOU FIT IT IN THAT TIGHT LITTLE SPACE?! The same with girls liking muscle… they like big *cough* Get it? If you don’t, read it again. Now do you get it?

On a positive note. I know nothing of fashion and my opinion doesn’t count, I am a walking fashion faux pas.

I love shoes. They are awesome.

Mel the cavalier

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

WOW. My third blog, does this make me an official blogger? Oh wait… real bloggers don’t leave it over 3 months between blogs. Really my mission was just to use the word blog as many times as possible in the first paragraph of this blog. BLOGTASTIC!

I had thought the reason of my lack of blog upkeep was because my life was becoming mundane, a bit same/same as I enter more and more into grown-up-ville. I work, I sleep, I socialise with my friends and… repeat.

So why do I have this dejected mind-set that my life is dull when in this year’s 4 months alone I have; set career goals for the first time ever, planned a mega 3 month Europe trip sometime within the next two years, travelled Asia for three weeks, bought my first guitar, broken away from an abusive relationship (dick) and smiled more than I probably did for the later part of 2010.

LIGHTBULB! I’m turning 30 this year. By the time my mother was 30, she was happily married, with one child (and me on the way), owned a 3 bedroom home, and operated a successful business with my father. But even in the modern western culture where we are brought up knowing females and males are equal, women can be CEO’s and men can be housewives, I have failed, an underlining nag still tells me I should be a replica of my mother by now. And that wee nag is society. I’m screwed.

So… “Fuck Society” (sorry dad, excuse my language please, it was purely for effect), I have spent years traveling the world, I have a job that I enjoy waking up for, I volunteer at a children’s hospital, I have learnt a musical instrument, I am teaching myself a second language, I snowboard, I drink whiskey better than 80% of the men I know, I value every friend and relationship I have formed over my current 29 years and I’m bloody HAPPY.

Sure this is nothing that hasn’t been said before, but it takes a simple self declaration that happiness outweighs expectation for some of us to catch on and believe it I tweeted that my May Month Resolution was to blog more. I can tell stories of the hundreds of things I do have going for me rather than the woes of the things I wish I had – hear that emos? Build a bridge, and get over it.

Whiskey will keep me warm, friends will keep me company and my family will keep me feeling loved.

Mel the insightful

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose”

Hours later, I am still grinning…  It’s moments like the one last night that make you remember who you are and how your path led you to be who you became.

Last night, I innocently began my first blog, I even mentioned my evening plans of dinner and a live comedy show, and yes, I made it to the drinks. And then we got to the car park to head on to the dinner location – to my car which I had planned to drive – I was kidnapped, by my own girlfriends. The night of girlie chit chat and laughter was a ruse!

I was blindfolded, delicately placed in the backseat of my own car, pinned with a badge that read something I was unaware of, and a tiara was plonked on my head…

The car was zigzagged through traffic, around imaginary turns and signal lights, I felt completely stripped of directional skills. The most enjoyable part of the ride was Claire who was to give the coded call that we were nearby, instead of her “the eagle has landed” coded message, in a fluster she states over the phone “We’re almost there! CODE!” – Never hire Claire as a Spy. We arrive at our destination and banter kicks in; “oh we need to park so far away, the car park is full”… “It’s pay and display, anyone have change?”… very convincing, especially from girls I have never heard lie in my life!… Still blindfolded I am guided through what to me is a public car park, little did I know it was my own house! And I was being led around the garden into the back door!

My life has been a little upside down of late and my birthday (celebrated in December) was in all honesty, a bit of a shitter. My precious friends took it upon themselves to throw me a do over. I stood unknowingly in my own living room, blindfolded and unaware of the 50 people standing in front of me. My blindfold is removed, I scream… a big shriek of excitement, I see friends from all sectors of my life standing staring at me with grins as big as mine, and I then tried to run away…

The night was insanely entertaining, ending in the early hours of this morning, my two months of no drinking ended abruptly and enjoyably. The organisation behind the evenings events were huge and I appreciate every single touch of perfection. I adore every person and am honoured to have such magnificent friends. I will remember this as one of those moments in life that determined who I am.

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow” – William Shakespeare

Mel the Loved

(Source: Parties)